in fear we trust
by deadskilletted
Summary: Nico is scared of the dark after Tartarus and has mini panic attacks after he shadow travels. (Valdangelo, sort of.)


**I found a bunch of short fics on my tablet that were written sometime during the summer before HoH? And I was like, why don't I post them? So here.**

Leo's breathing was becoming strained and ragged towards the end of the battle; his arms were aching from swinging his various combinations of tools, and his whole body was sore from all the fire he had been using. Those were his thoughts, at least, when someone grabbed him and the whole scene faded away.

It mad him feel like he was zooming around on Festus again, whatever it was. Leo noticed a figure cloaked in black out of the corner of his eyes, vaguely recognizing the figure to be Nico di Angelo. Who seemed to be concentrating hard, with his eyes screwed shut. His knuckles were turning white (which wasn't saying much since the boy was already too pale for his own good) and they held onto Leo's wrist tight enough to make his hand numb.

The pair landed somewhere in the forest of Camp Half Blood, if Nico's muttering and strangled yelling into the distance was anything to go by. Leo turned around to thank Nico for not letting that monster tear him to shreds, only to find the boy shaking on the ground. He was curled in on himself while his hands clamped down on his ears roughly. His eyes were blown out and each short breath seemed to take an enormous amount of effort. Leo immediately knelt down in front of the boy.

"Hey, hey, calm down, we're out of there, you're safe, shh," Leo mumbled on instinct, placing his hands on top of Nico's in a failed attempt to pry them off the side of his head. "It's okay, you're okay, we're okay."

After taking a few more shaky inhales, Nico found the ability to speak again. "Coward," he sobbed.

"What?" It took a moment for Leo to realize that Nico was talking to himself. The sight was more than a little unnerving, and it was just plain weird to see Nico so vulnerable, yet so open.

"You're so weak," he continued in a raspy voice. "Weak. Coward. Can't even stay in your own element." Tears started to prickle the back of his eyes and grip the back of his throat. "Coward."

"You're not a coward," Leo states. Nico looks up as if he didn't notice Leo in the first place. "You're the strongest person I know."

"But - but - I'm so scared." Nico sounded small and desperate. "How can I be strong if I'm scared of my own freaking self?"

Oh. Leo momentarily froze as the air thickened, choking him and trapping his voice somewhere in his throat, Nico's words traveling down to his stomach to be properly digested.

After the uncomfortable moment passed, Leo was glad that the situation became fixable. Fixable was something Leo knew how to deal with. And Leo would deal with just about anything to make that heart-wrenching fear in Nico's eyes dissipate.

 _Deep breath, deep words_ , Leo thought, _deep breath_ , "I'm scared of myself, too, Nico." As an afterthought, he added, "I've been scared of myself my whole life."

Nico had the most bewildered look on his face. There were still tears mixed in, but the fear had lessened, at the very least.

Leo saw that as a sign to continue. "Fire - it's dangerous." He cautiously lit the tip of his finger on fire like it was a birthday candle. Nico stared, mesmerized. "It kills. It destroys. It overpowers." Leo put the small flame out by making a fist. "I don't want to do that. I don't like feeling so spontaneous, so uncontrollable." He choked back a sob of his own. "But, I do, it happens."

"Fire's also beautiful," Nico whispered, still staring where the small flame used to be. "Fire is light and life and love. And the shadows are dark. They're creepy." He swallowed. "For me, they used to be home. And then they betrayed me. They swallowed me whole and spit me back out, except parts of me went missing and it hurts. It hurts and it's scary and it's all I have left to turn to." A deep breath turned into a coughing fit which led to Leo sliding next to Nico to pat him on the back. "I still panic every time I'm in the dark. The shadows can be manipulative, Leo."

"Just..." Leo hesitated. "I'm really shitty at this, but you're not alone, got that? It's okay if something changes you."

A ghost of a smile crossed Nico's face. "Can we walk the rest of the way?"

"Sure."


End file.
